Confidence

The Challenge:

“Where did my confidence level go, Chia?”

I earnestly looked at my husband as he stared into my desperate eyes. 

After 7 years of running a business, a lot has happened. Some days I have regrets, but on most days, I am grateful to be where I am. 

On days that I have regrets, it’s easy to fall into an emotional spiral of self-blaming, pity and helplessness. But Quran always put things in perspective:

مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن نَّبْرَأَهَا إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ

No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz), before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah.

لِّكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ

In order that you may not be sad over matters that you fail to get, nor rejoice because of that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters.

Al-Hadid: 22-23.

The Solution:

I’ve been praying, asking Allah swt to help me with my confidence. Here’s what I got so far.

1. What beliefs do I have about myself?

I have what I need to succeed, in whatever I put my mind to achieve.

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا لَهَا

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. 

Al-Baqarah: 286

This verse is so significant because it was not revealed the usual way on earth via the archangel Gabriel (as). Instead, it was revealed during Isra’ & Mi’raj, when Rasulullah (saw) spoke directly to Allah swt on the 7th Sky, Allah’s throne, the Arsh. 

Whatever I go through in life, I can take it. I can succeed. As long as I put in the work, I got this.

2. Focus:

Whatever we choose to ask ourselves, our mind will give as many answers back. This is the miracle of the brain. So be careful on how we phrase a question.

  • Right way to ask:

How can I achieve something? What can I do to start? Where can I get the right info? What can I do to improve the situation?

  • Wrong way to ask:

Why am I failing? Why did I do this? Why can’t I seem to get this right?

3. Physiology

Whenever I’m scared, I take a deep breath then exhale. Stand up straight and tall. Now approach the challenge once more.

4. Momentum

What are 3 – 5 steps that I need to take to get closer to my goal? Start with that. Build a healthy momentum and celebrate them no matter how small. 

I hope this is useful for you if you find yourself in need of confidence. 

Much love, Sumi.

Featured item: A’ishah Top in Dove Grey, Instant Scarf in Silver Sky and any boyfriend jeans will do 😉. 

*I got the 4 steps to confidence via Halimah from www.quranrehab.com

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